I had a chat with a friend some time ago and it gave me an idea of my next post. We were talking about a boss in an office. When the chat started initially, I smiled and thought how true the phrase 'women are the weaker sex' is. This particular boss was creating a 'slight' (if I'm permitted to water it down that much) inconvienience for my friend. I'm not a feminist, neither am I a sexist. I believe God has assigned roles to men and women which no amount of yelling or screaming 'equality' can alter.
I then tried to think back and wondered how it comes about that women acquire such power and I came up with quite a number of interesting sources. The girl child when growng up is saddled with the responsibilty of understudying mummy such that when mummy is not around, she convieniently steps into that position. While in school, she looks out for her male colleagues importing what she learnt at home to cater for them and see to their well being. When she eventually starts working, quite a lot of pressure is placed on her. As this development progresses, she begins to acquire that inner strenght to fight and withstand pressure.
This training comes from the male folk also. When eventually these girls get to a position of authority, they find it very easy to fall into the position of 'bossing' the same men who trained them. Interestng right? You really can't blame them. Many a woman has to assert her role to command the respect of men especially if she's the boss around there (counter opinion welcome). The girl child grows up learning to oversee, control and take charge of situations.
But as my friend and I concluded, the solution to this problem is the same MEN! How? Give a career girl a man and you divert her energy from the work to caring and taking charge where the man is concerned. What she deposits in the office automatically goes home. The men give the training, complain about the outcomes, yet are the solution needed!
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Posted by 'Fiyinfolu at 10:24:00 PM
Friday, September 15, 2006
My friends say I like controversy. Well, I don't know but I sure like to deviate from the normal.
I really did not know the difference between these two till much later in my life. Don't laugh at me, I'm sure some of you still mix both up (what's the difference anyway?). I watched a nice debate a little while ago. An undergraduate male of roughly 22 years screaming it down the throat of a colleague that he's a man and not a boy. To me, he's neither of both, he's a kid.
Now, does age separate both? Candidly, I'll say no, you're free to think otherwise. For you to assert so noisily that you are a man simply means you are not one. I have no grudge with the ale folk, nah nah, but I have problems with them wanting to be both boys and men and most annoying, being boys when they ought to be men.
A boy doesn't just want to take revenge. A man's mature both in mind and body. He may be young but he thinks and talks deep. And a man, a true man cries. My pain with men crying? You can't blame me. I'm the only girl in the house and I hate to see my dear brothers stiffle issues when they could bury their heads in their pillows and have a good cry over it. I also have a great number of male friends too. I'm not asking you to go in the public and let the tears run loose but in your privacy, let off a little more heat. Infact, a true boy hollers off in public.
A true man releases the tears and comes out to face the world with a better determination to lead and take things in his own hands.
I pray my first child is a son so I can teach him to be a man indeed. I'll tell him never to be rude to the female folk, never raise his voice on her, neither his hand, watch his words with her and on her and be careful not to hurt her feelings. I'll teach him to be tender, yet firm, loving yet a disciplinarian. I'll teach him to take charge of his emotions and to be shield indeed for all ladies that come into his life. I'll teach him never to toy with a lady's emotions or heart and be true to one and only one. He would carefully assert his manliness, quietly, without force os harshness. He would be a MAN indeed.
Posted by 'Fiyinfolu at 6:16:00 PM
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Several times I have seen daddies go out with their little girls all dressed up with ribbons in their hair and dresses that look like pictures themselves.
But there's also another picture I love to see! Daddy and boy with a fishing kit or a ball or even a cutlass and hoe on their way to the farm, gym, lake, whatever. The talks along the way are different from those with the girls. The dad prepares the girl to see herself as miss universe and to prepare for that time when she'll be a mummy like Mummy and have her own little girl. But for the lass, daddy teaches him survival tips right from such a tender age. What to and not to do in cases that arise and then, he is told 'men don't cry'. Imagine, a lil boy of barely 8 being told that! I have no problems with that as long as he grows up to a stage where he can correct put that last insruction in his mind. Men cry, but not the way women do! Many men die nowadays from issues they could have cried out. They lock them all up and burst in their secret and attimes openly sef. Who says men don't cry? Ask that one who just got jilted or the guy who lost his mum (no hard feelings).
Back to the talk along the way. The lass is prepared to face the future. He is trained to take responsiblilty for himself and for others. The building starts there on that road. Block by block is added until one day, that lass can hoist his own boy too on the neck and cradle a 'girlie' who's dad told her on the way that she'll marry a prince who'll take her to the end of the earth and tell him the same things he heard at his age. Hmn... wonder
Posted by 'Fiyinfolu at 9:44:00 PM
It really feels good to be back after a break from posting. Didn't really feel good about that though.
There's this ad that says 'Life is beautiful'. Hmn... really it is. In the past couple of weeks, it looked like there was no truth in that saying. Everything looked too bleak and black and the world looked and felt so heavy. I actually lost what it was that was left as interest in everything around me. But thankfully, I have a hold on life again. You know, if you can just determine to, you can actually own the world! Big dream hun?
But, life sure is beautiful. The Yorubas say that the people around one are the clothes on one. I really found that true too in this past weeks. After strolling around the campus of Africa's most beautiful university for a while and trying to take in the beauty both in the world and in the campus, I settled for a spot and tried to get somethings straight in my head. Just at that time when it looked like the world was vacant, my cell rang. It was a new friend who wanted us to meet and see the faces behind the letters and then, I decided to flex my thumb a bit and send a few texts (graciously, I got some credit this morning). I did send them and one of them produced what snapped me out of that feeling for that moment. Another call! A friend too who I've been communicationg with for almost a year but who I've never seen before. He (you could guess it'ld be a 'he'. Guys have a way of popping up just at the nick of time. God bless the dear souls.) said he would be visiting during the weekend!
Ask me, I don't know how that did it but the clouds cleared. I just loved life again! I saw the beauty and then, the sun rose in its' glory! I could feel it and then I smiled. The sun itself was part of the beauty. I got up, returned to my room and have been bubbly ever since. I want to spread a lil' of that to you. Look up, look beyond the situation now. It cannot be worse than it is and even if it is worse, you'll always come out the best for it.
Nice enough, yet another friend sent me this text just as I was inputing this and I'll like to share it with you even as I wish you a smiles filled dreamy night.
"Reignite the light inside you. Banish indifference to sulk in the shadows. Don't dare settle for a life of 'survival'". He's been a blessing to me. Daniel, God bless you.
Posted by 'Fiyinfolu at 9:20:00 PM
Sunday, September 03, 2006
I am poised to face the future
Really, poised to face my future
Enough of repeating the mistakes of my predecessors
I am taking my life in my hands
I am raising my head up in the midst of a crazy world
I refuse to look at my peers
I refuse to be negatively influenced
I refuse the normal excuses
I face the world with determination
Against all odds
Against all sneers
Against all limitations
I choose to be a model in my generation
I will rewrite history
I dream of the pride of feminity being restored
I see us taking our rightful place in the world
I see good mothers, caring wives and committed friends
I see beauty in the female body
I see her encaspulated in honour and grace
I see her smile and her touch healing wounded hearts
I see her creating a way for others to follow
She will get there... She will be great
Help me attain this greatness.
This is my dream
- Young African Female Teenager
Posted by 'Fiyinfolu at 9:17:00 PM
This is another weekend gone past. It was busy for me as usual. I hardly have any weekend free of activities. I had the privilege of seeing an old friend and then he told me about the wedding of a well known 'friend' too. Then I got thinking and got a new post!
No weekend passes in Nigeria without at least fifty new couples signing the dotted lines. No weeekend passes without families shedding 'nostalgic tears'. Mummy sees her baby girl going away, though she's happy, yet she's sad that the girl is leaving (she had always dreamt of this day though). Daddy sees his 'little' angel being whsked away by another man and the bride or groom themselves can't really take it all in - so this is finally the new life I had been dreaming of. Me and my loved one, together, forever! The vows have been exchanged and the butterflies are really having it nice turning your tummy around.
Apart from the glitz of the ceremony, one other thing struck me. This union has the potential of producing the greatest leaders in the world. This union can also bring forth the best in their selected industries and very beautiful kids too who you'll love to cuddle. Something else. How many of these will stay, remain together, not because they have no choice though but because the original binding love is still there, fanning the embers of this love till their dying minutes, to take proper care of these kids and to help them imbibe the love the world needs. How many of them will not stiffle the existing love and throw into the society hurting children and deviant teens? How many of them will really stand by "I DO" till they see their own kids re- enact the same event that happened this last weekend?
Posted by 'Fiyinfolu at 8:35:00 PM