Feeling left out?

Do you have this strong feeling of being left out? Or do you feel like you don't belong? Or is yours a feeling of being useless? Like time's passing you by?

Aight, I'll share another true story with you. Mine as I said.

In the last post, I gave you a general overview of failure and my own experience with failure. Okay. In this field of being left out too, I've some story to tell.

I told you already how I missed out of the service year with my colleagues and twice, when I could have met up with them again, it just didnt happen. What comes out of this naturally? Depression. A sense of loss. You could feel a lil inferior to your mates. You might even want to give it all up. You might not want to try anything again. Self pity. The list is endless but this is not the solution.

The one year of waiting to proceed on my service has not been the best one year of my life. I've seen better years. This period feels like I'm just there, not in any employment, I hear news from friends and they share what they're doing. Naturally, I feel very useless and like time's just swooping past me. But I've come to learn one thing too. This is the best time to review my life plans. Oh, wait. Do you have a life plan? Something that kinda guides you as you go along? If you don't, draw one up today. It would really help you. And if you have, if there's an unexpected occurrence somewhere, it is time to review such an occurrence and you plan. Get better! Think better! Don't underestimate ourself. Change your thinking pattern. It isn't easy, yes I know. But you can do it if you set your mind to it.

Get out of that pity party and see the lag as an opportunity for you to avoid mistakes your peers might have made in the 'straight, smooth sailing'.

Starting with realities

I promised to share my real experiences with you. Here they come.

I'll start with my first contact with failure. This came in my University years. I wasn't leading my class from the primary school through the secondary, but I wasn't lagging behind either. Infact, I somehow stood out in my class. Interesting to also note that I got into the university immediately I left the secondary school. All these combined to give me the confidence that I wasn't dumb.

So you can imagine my shock the first time I failed a course in the university. And though I didn't have to repeat the class, I had to take the course again. It was a whole new feeling for me. I had to attend classes with folks that were a class behind me. Okay, being the 'tough' girl that I am, I braved it and retook that course and passed it. But that looked like the gateway to other courses that I had to retake. Somewhere along the line, I kinda got used to it, it didn't bother me anymore but the big one was yet to come!

That was when I failed a course in my final year and I knew that translated into an extra semester. It shook me real hard. I realized my colleagues were leaving me and going off. I had gotten a lot toughened by this time and by the processes I had gone through that I really didn't 'react' to the situation but stood up to it with the hope that I'll meet up with my colleagues after four months at the National Youth Service program. But a bigger surprise was waiting for me. By some error (not on my part), I had to stay back again for another semester! That made it an extra session! I hadn't, in my wildest dreams, imagined this possible. Okay, so I had to face it. By the time I'm leaving school finally, my colleagues would have just 2months to complete the Youth service scheme. That meant that I was a full year behind them!

It's interesting to read this now. But I tell you, the process wasn't palatable at all. I didn't add that by the time I was taking the second semester extra, I was taking the course with my younger brother who had never at anytime met up with me academically till this time. You can only imagine the psychological effect. It was at this same university time that a lecturer told me I was topping my class. In essence, there was no logical reason for me to have failed at all.

I have taken time to share this with you because I don't know what failure you might have faced. It might not be academically, it might be financially, business wise, family wise (oh, do I have a story here), whatever. Just know that you may fail, but you're not a failure. When you give in to the thought or feeling of being a failure, that's when you've actually failed. I'll like to say this also, when your emotions are pent up at these low times, if you feel like crying, please do, if it's screaming, do it. Just let out the emotions, don't get them piled up. And one day, you'll be encouraging others with your story. Only when you dare and choose to live it out!

When life deals the lemons

What do you do when you expect to be dealt oranges and you get lemons instead?

Brood?

Loose interest?

Cry?

Get into a foul mood?

Try to rally sympathy?

Drink yourself to stupor?

Eat impulsively?

Get addicted to stuff?

Get hung on drugs?

These and many more are options people take when they don't get what they expect from others, friends, life itself, family or someone they have looked up to for something. But I like to tell you that these options are the 'wrongest' (permit that grammatical use) options. When you get struck down, you shouldn't be downcast. The general thing we're told is 'Take the lemon life has thrown at you and make lemonade', that's very true.

When you get downcast, it becomes difficult for you to get up and rethink and get yourself together and back on your feet. Your vision gets blurred and bleary. Your passion is watered down and you could just move from worse to worst. Now, this isn't just theory, I'm adding something new to this page. Real life experiences. I'll share my experiences with you, starting from the next post. Who knows, could just meet your present need.

Friends are Friends

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

I came across this chorus from the song by Micheal W. Smith. Its' title is actually 'Friends are Friends' and then I got thinking. Who really is a friend? Yeah, friends should really be forever! But before they are forever, what constitutes their friendship?

Is friendship about convenience?
Is it about nice fronts?
Is it about faking realities?
Is it about not just wanting to appear heartless to the other?

Or,

Is it about being ourselves?
Is it about understanding our silences and noises?
Is it about speaking the truth in love?
Is it about . . .

What exactly is friendship about?
Do you choose your friends or are they stuck down your throat? Do you have to continue to stick a person you just aren't connecting with anymore?

I would love responses.

Friends are Friends

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

I came across this chorus from the song by Micheal W. Smith. Its' title is actually 'Friends are Friends' and then I got thinking. Who really is a friend? Yeah, friends should really be forever! But before they are forever, what constitutes their friendship?

Is friendship about convenience?
Is it about nice fronts?
Is it about faking realities?
Is it about not just wanting to appear heartless to the other?

Or,

Is it about being ourselves?
Is it about understanding our silences and noises?
Is it about speaking the truth in love?
Is it about . . .

What exactly is friendship about?
Do you choose your friends or are they stuck down your throat? Do you have to continue to stick a person you just aren't connecting with anymore?

I would love responses.

Whispers

Sad, I lost the grphics in this but the message's still clear. Think on this.


A man whispered, "God, speak to me" and a meadowlark sang.

But, the man did not hear.


So the man yelled, "God, speak to me" and the thunder rolled across the sky.

But, the man did not listen.


The man looked around and said, "God let me see you." And a star shined brightly.

But the man did not see.

And, the man shouted, "God show me a miracle." And, a life was born.

But, the man did not notice.
So, the man cried out in despair, "Touch me God, and let me know you are here." Whereupon, God reached down and touched the man. But, the man brushed the butterfly away .

and walked on.
I found this to be a great reminder that God is always around us in the little and simple things that we take for granted ... even in our electronic age.



So I would like to add one more:

The man cried, "God, I need your help!" And an e-mail arrived reaching out with good news and encouragement.

But, the man deleted it and continued crying
Don't miss out on a blessing because it isn't packaged the way that you expect.

My instructions were to send this to people that I wanted God to bless and I picked you. Won't you please pass this to people you want to be blessed.

Have A Happy Day!

How thankful are you?

This isn't originally mine. Someone sent it to me and I want to share it. How well we pass everyday things that remind us how complete we are and how good God is. Add to the list.
NB: The original author is given the credit.

I am Thankful:

FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA
BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME,
NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE
BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.
FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE.

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING
I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS
WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH..

FOR THE PARKING SPOT
I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.


FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH
WHO SINGS OFF KEY BECAUSE IT MEANS
I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES
AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN
CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF
IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE
FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

It's another Sunday morning!

Whao! It's another Sunday morning. Was it this time two Sundays ago I put something up last? Hard to believe. The first Sunday post was on God's creation, and this post too is...wait a minute, what isnt God's creation? Directly or indirectly?

Moving from the flowers, butterflies, grasses, animals, to humans. Of course, we all know that God created us. But somethings bothers me about us. Why do we just sit around and let who we really are (positive) decay off inside of us. I sampled two people. Both are not what you'll call extroverts. But while I watched over the years and one worked on the quater extrovert that was in him, the other just sat in the shadows, getting sad at himself, life, things and people around him. He just got sulky. Now I look at both guys. I see the first guy attaining his goal inspite of his weaknesses. He has realised that he could get very timid and has worked on it, not negatively though, to strengthen the 'weak positive' side of him. Actually, he has made a lot of headway ahead of the other guy. I can measure that cuz they both have very similar conditions. I fear for guy 2 cuz I see him continuing to blame others for his mistakes and continuing to sit right there on the same spot and never getting anything done.

Friend, God has put a lot into you. Look inward, polish yourself and attain you utmost. What's the essence if you 'horde' all that you ought to utilize for the betterment of mankind and to add value to yourself and die really smelly on the inside? The rot of what you have inside of you would really be stinky, don't you think? Stand up! Take the bull by the horns and face life. Be a better you. No one would hold it against you.

Whoever said you can't be better?

It's Sunday morning

It's a beautiful Sunday morning. The weather's very fine here. Not sunny and not cloudy, just fine for a nice stroll ruminating on the works of God's hands.

That same serenity drew me to this page. I have to put something up, yeah, sure. What? I'll be back.

How long can you stand?

This picture says something more to me than just a pair of chocks on rocks. It asks me a question; when things don't look the way I want them to, how long can I wait for a complete process? I got talking with a couple of my friends sometime last week and we can to the conclusion that we're in an instant world now. If not, how do we explain instant food, the ATMs, instant pictures, etc? No one wants to go to the banks to queue anymore, food must just get done faster than they naturally should and we don't want to wait again for pictures to go through the camera, film stage, the darkroom, etc.

These things look like making life easier but looking deep into it, we realize that something vital is being taken from our lives everyday. PATIENCE! That's something the average 21st century young person doesn't have. I walk into stores, banks, offices and see the way young people talk at the personell they meet in these places. They just want to have it ASAP! Let's give a thought to the values that are being taken from us with the 'technological advancements' and think of our children and the future generations. WHo'll teach them some of these things if we're losing them ourselves.

I agree that life's been easier but take out the ease, what are we left with? Take time to think today, I hope we won't have robots thinking for us soon.

Just some thoughts.

It's so good to be back!

It feels so great to be back online. For the greater part of 12 weeks, events had so overtaken me that I just couldn't keep up with my cyber space. But today, I can flex my fingers and get back online. To all those who sent comments and messages while I was away, thank you. Your messages are greatly appreciated and to all who kept wondering what had happened to me, I'm glad to be back to allay your worries.

In those weeks, I have learnt new things which I'll share with you. I'm really bursting now to speak but one of the things I learnt during this time was patience and I'll just exercise that now. Yes, as much as I want to talk, I have to take a break, at least today. Tomorrow, we catch up again.

It really feels good too to return today when the black world and indeed the world at large, specifically the IT world celebrates a true and worthy ambassador. 'Gbenga Sesan, happy birthday. This is someone who's touched countless lives, mine inclusive in ways that posterity alone can attempt to recount and repay. Happy birthday Egbon mi.

Changes do occur

I can't believe that I've been gone for over a month without any post. I didnt ever think it could happen but it did. I had to go through some changes that really kept me off the web. I'm not trying to make an excuse here, nah! Infact, I have lost touch with a lot of things online, and a lot of people too!

Now this gets me thinking. How do we adapt to changes in our lives, nations, places of work, families, etc? The elections in Nigeria have just been conducted. A change has occurred. Power is changing hands in 26days and some people are averse to it! There have been a lot of rancour and unnecessary clamour. Come to think of it, why is it so hard to adapt to change? But I think the problem we have is adapting to a change that we think we dont have an immediate benefit from. We want things done our way - selfish aint that? I'll continue on this but I just had to put something new on this page. I'll be back soon.

"SMSes" and Truths

I have a habit of keeping sms that really touch me and I was recently going through some of them again. What struck me as I read those sms again was how true could they be? Some of them came from people I'm not so close to or who I just met once. Let me share some of them with you so you get a picture of what exactly I'm talking about.

Space seems like an empty word, but it's full of Special People Around Caring Endlessly. Thank you for being part of my space.

I do not think much, I do not think often but when I think, I think of you. I don't think anything to think about than you!

Some pictures are kept in the album, others in the haert. Those in the album are thought of when seen, those in the heart will never be forgotten. As long as my heart beats, you're in it.

In my life, I learnt how to love, to smile, to be happy, to be strong, to be faithful, to work hard and to be honest but I can't learn how to stop missing you.

Silence heals, secrets destroy but confessions heal heartache...my greatest confession to you is that... you are a wonderful friend I don't want to lose.

Okay, so I'll stop there. Those are five of my most treasured sms I posted for the world to see! However, as much as I may not wan tto doubt the heart behind them, I still find myself wondering, how much of the truth we tell ourselves in sms. Do you say something electronically and actually mean something less? As much as I'm for brightening up others' days, I'm also for sincerity. How much it'll hurt me to discover that these messages were just picked up from the net or elsewhere and just sent to momentarily make me feel good.

A word: Before you send that sms, check and be sure you're not giving someone false hopes.

A shoulder to lean on

How many times do we suffer in silence and really wished there was someone around the corner who could just offer their shoulders for us to cry into or lean on? Are shoulders that scarce? Is it that difficult to get a willing shoulder?

Ever thought of being a shoulder, ready for someone to use? A willing support to someone in their trying times?

Short post but I was just thinking. I recently had a very willing and I dare say strong shoulder to lean on and was it great help? This is actually a dedication to a great friend. Do you have experiences to share of being a shoulder or gaining a shoulder? WHy don't you share so we can all learn from you. Waiting for you.

'Oju Aye'

I just left the sixtieth birthday fete for Prof. Niyi Osundare. The 'eye of the earth' is 60 and we're rolling out the drums. As a great lover of the arts (poems, music, drama, stage, film, novel, all) I couldn't resist the urge to once again see this great oak. And in his characteristic style, Osundare turned out in his top. None of those shirts and ties (which could be very uncomfortable anyway) for him.

During the speeches and opening talks, a recurring point was the incident this lover of the earth was involved in running to 2 years now - the Katrina. Lives were lost but thank God He preserved the life of this 'youngman' and his wonderful wife. Documents, pictures and all were lost too but we're celebrating his life today. Really, he's a survivour of the earth.

A foundation of sorts was launched where people can send journals, pictures, motion materials, anything at all about, on and for Osundare. There's an effort at starting a virtual library and a physical one at that for this man so there an be better documentation and a kind or resourcing some of the lost memoirs. Visit www.osundare60fete.blogspot.com for more details or mail your materials to osundare60fete@gmail.com and osundare_at60@yahoo.com. Thanks for a being a part of collating great history. This is a time for celebrating our African beauties.

Take your destiny in your hands!

I should have done this about a week ago but I just couldn't sign in to blogger. Now I get the chance, I'm blogging away!

It's no longer news that OAU Ife is presently under locks. Why? The answer is painfully real. Some hooligans were allowed to hijack the academic calendar. Less than 10 people disrupting the life of over 25,000 students! It's unthinkable! The school had started exams but these fellows wouldn't just allow it hold smoothly. And the generality of the students were being held hostage in their halls of residence. They were threatned and attacked with dangerous weapons. And like sheep, they ran helter skelter the university premises till things got of hand and management had to close the school not after mobile policemen had been deployed to help maintain peace.

The part of this all that annoys me is that a body of active, healthy students have resigne their destiny to thugs. Why? Why would we continue to keep quiet under oppression? Agreed, those guys had dangerous weapons but they are not as many as the unarmed! They didnt have guns. The best they could do was throw stones or bottles or sticks. Yes, they could wound people but when will we ever get what's right if we all continue to cow? I may be the only one who's following this line of thought but I believe oppression cannot be fought with silence. Neither can it be fought with violence but by the oppressed to reject it and be ready to sacrifice to attain their freedom. And I believe politics should be played with sense.

What do you think?

We are the World!

I watch, have been watching with keen interest the events all culminating in the general elections in April in Nigeria. Really, it all looks like a drama or movie script. Old men who ought to sit back and hand over their 'good work' to the generation behind them are struggling and killing themselves over this 'national cake' that they have been eating and choking on for God knows how long ago.

And we, we, what have we been doing? Looking at them, watching them perform all their stunts now. Let them help sanitize the top, and exit it however they want to do it. We the youth are waiting, patiently, bidding our time and watching for the right time to launch into the mainstream.

Fearlessly we wait and watch, bravely we prepare and honestly we gird ourselves, ready to serve! We are the world!

St. Valentine

This is really late. It should have been posted on Wednesday but it's okay sha. I want to share this story with you. Ii is St. Valentine's own story as told by him. Enjoy it.

St. Valentine's Story

Let me introduce myself. My name is Valentine. I lived in Rome during the third century. That was long, long ago! At that time, Rome was ruled by an emperor named Claudius. I didn't like Emperor Claudius, and I wasn't the only one! A lot of people shared my feelings.

Claudius wanted to have a big army. He expected men to volunteer to join. Many men just did not want to fight in wars. They did not want to leave their wives and families. As you might have guessed, not many men signed up. This made Claudius furious. So what happened? He had a crazy idea. He thought that if men were not married, they would not mind joining the army. So Claudius decided not to allow any more marriages. Young people thought his new law was cruel. I thought it was preposterous! I certainly wasn't going to support that law!

Did I mention that I was a priest? One of my favorite activities was to marry couples. Even after Emperor Claudius passed his law, I kept on performing marriage ceremonies -- secretly, of course. It was really quite exciting. Imagine a small candlelit room with only the bride and groom and myself. We would whisper the words of the ceremony, listening all the while for the steps of soldiers.

One night, we did hear footsteps. It was scary! Thank goodness the couple I was marrying escaped in time. I was caught. (Not quite as light on my feet as I used to be, I guess.) I was thrown in jail and told that my punishment was death.

I tried to stay cheerful. And do you know what? Wonderful things happened. Many young people came to the jail to visit me. They threw flowers and notes up to my window. They wanted me to know that they, too, believed in love.

One of these young people was the daughter of the prison guard. Her father allowed her to visit me in the cell. Sometimes we would sit and talk for hours. She helped me to keep my spirits up. She agreed that I did the right thing by ignoring the Emperor and going ahead with the secret marriages. On the day I was to die, I left my friend a little note thanking her for her friendship and loyalty. I signed it, "Love from your Valentine."

I believe that note started the custom of exchanging love messages on Valentine's Day. It was written on the day I died, February 14, 269 A.D. Now, every year on this day, people remember. But most importantly, they think about love and friendship. And when they think of Emperor Claudius, they remember how he tried to stand in the way of love, and they laugh -- because they know that love can't be beaten!

Nollywood? Hollywood?

Tonight, I was talking with a new acquaintance and we dwelt majorly on Nollywood in comparison to Hollywood and Bollywood and I was disheartened at the way the guy talked. He blamed the 'poor' quality of Nollywood films on different people. First he said it was the producers, then the script writers, then the viewers themselves and finally the government or leadership as he put it.

Wait na, why is it that we always blame other people when problems arise? WHy don't we look inwards? Why must someone or some institution always be responsible for our problems? This person in question watches more of Hollywood to Nollywood o and he complains about an industry he's lost touch with o. When will we begin to see the Nigerian situation as ours? By the way, this fellow says he believes in the New Nigeria, yet he stocks Hollywood films. I'm not against Hollywood but when someone praises it above Nollywood, a Nigerian for that matter, it touches my Nigerian heart.

Whether in politics, entertainment, religion, sports, whatever...let us all as Nigerians take respponsibility for our shortcomings and together lift up our country. Her success is our success and her failure is our failure.

Arise O compatriots!

Dorothy

I got a comment on the Goldman Sachs post. It was interesting reading through it. I would have loved to publish that comment but I feel it's private. I saw it as someone sharing her life with me and I'm a strong addict for keep confidences. I use this medium to ask Dorothy to send another comment with her email address so I can get in touch with her.

Thanks to all those who sent birthday greetings, I appreciate it but the central time was kinda slow. I post that comment past 12 but it appeared as having been sent before 12. Thanks anyway.

When will the patriots rise?

Arise, O compatriots, Nigeria's call obey
To serve our fatherland
With love and strength and faith
The labour of our heroes past
Shall never be in vain
To serve with heart and might
One nation bound in freedom, peace and unity.

Oh God of creation, direct our noble cause
Guide our leaders right
Help our youth the truth to know
In love and honesty to grow
And living just and true
Great lofty heights attain
To build a nation where peace and justice shall reign

I just got back from a concert of sorts where the glory of Nigeria was once again showcased. I felt proud to be a Nigerian. A prayer was sung for Nigeria in the second stanza of this great anthem and really that was when this idea came to me. I got out of that concert and straight, I got on the computer to blog!

The first stanza calls upon compatriots to rise and obey the call of their great nation, this is followed by a reminder of what their service to the nation should and would demand. The gone heros were not left out of this as their labour was remembered . This to me is a call to service but have we sat down to consider the second stanza? That really is prayer for Nigeria.

This is a challenge to all patriots of this great country. It might take you so much time to say a prayer for Nigeria everyday but can you sing a prayer for Nigeria? SIng that second stanza loud and clear and at the end of it, say 'AMEN'.

I wish myself a huge happy birthday. It's great to be a Nigerian! Black, Afrcan, NIGERIAN and PROUD!

If you can wait

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

Many times we get to react to things that have happenend to us before or is/are happening to us. How do we explain this? Many times we give up a minute too early and wished we never tired of waiting. Just that second of making the decision to go, and we actually let go of our 'dreams'.

What about retaliating? Someone has caused me pain, therefore, I should cause another pain. Seriously hurt? Must the whole world bear the brunt? In all of this, do you brood and carry the world on your head? Do you pay attention to what you say? Do you take time to season your words with salt? Do you want to come out the wiser for all you might have been through?

Sayings

These are some sayings about children. Spare a thought for each. Deep thought.

'You cannot teach a child to take care of himself unless you will let him try to take care of himself. He will make mistakes; and out of these mistakes will come his wisdom.'
- Henry Ward Beecher

'Perhaps we cannot prevent this world from being a world in which children are tortured. But we can reduce the number of tortured children.'
- Albert Camus

'When children sound silly, you will always find that it is in imitation of their elders.'
- Ernest Dimnet

'Respect the child. Be not too much his parent. Trespass not on his solitude.'
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

'To a father waxing old, nothing is dearer than a daughter. Sons have spirits of higher pitch, but less inclined to sweet, endearing fondness.'
- Euripides

'In praising or loving a child, we love and praise not that which is, but that which we hope for.'
- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

'Children generally hate to be idle. All the care then should be, that their busy humor should be constantly employed in something that is of use to them.'
- John Locke

'Children have more need of models than of critics.'
- Joseph Joubert

'Give me a child for the first seven years, and you may do what you like with him afterwards.'
- Anon

'I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.'
- Harry S. Truman

'I do not love him because he is good, but because he is my little child.'
- Rabindranath Tagore

'A child tells in the street what his father and mother say at home.'
- The Talmud

'A babe in a house is a well-spring of pleasure.'
- Martin Farquhar Tupper

Who has the Son

Think on this...

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art.

They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael.
They would often sit together and admire the great works of art.

When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war.
He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier.
The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.

About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door.
A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands.

He said, "Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life.
He saved many lives that day,
andhe was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly.
He often talked about you, and your love for art."
The young man held out this package.
"I know this isn't much.
I'm not really a great artist,
butI think your son would have wanted you to have this."

The father opened the package.
It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man.
He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting.
The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears.
He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture.
"Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me.
It's a gift."

The father hung the portrait over his mantle.
Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son
beforehe showed them any of the other great works he had collected.

The man died a few months later.
There was to be a great auction of his paintings.
Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings
andhaving an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.

On the platform sat the painting of the son.
The auctioneer pounded his gavel.
"We will start the bidding with this picture of the son.
Who will bid for this picture?"

There was silence.

Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, "We want to see the famous paintings.
Skip this one."

But the auctioneer persisted.
"Will somebody bid for this painting.
Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?"

Another voice angrily."We didn't come to see this painting.
We came to see the Van Goghs, the Rembrandts.
Get on with the real bids!"

But still the auctioneer continued.
"The son!The son! Who'll take the son?"

Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room.
It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son.
"I'll give $10 for the painting."
Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.

"We have $10, who will bid $20?"

"Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters."

"$10 is the bid, won't someone bid $20?"

The crowd was becoming angry.
They didn't want the picture of the son.

They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.

The auctioneer pounded the gavel.
"Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!"

A man sitting on the second row shouted, "Now let's get on with the collection!"

The auctioneer laid down his gavel.
"I'm sorry, the auction is over."

"What about the paintings?"

"I am sorry.
When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will.
I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time.
Only the painting of the son would be auctioned.
Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings.

The man who took the son gets everything!"

God gave His son 2,000 years ago to die on the cross.

The next two

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:

How many times do we release our dreams go past us just because it looks like no one believes in us? There are times we could actually be sincerely wrong but there just has to be that element of trust in the self. YOU JUST GAT TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

Don't be tossed about like a flimsy film, stand your ground and make your mistakes, learn from them however and remember that no one got 'there' in a day. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, you'll just have learnt new ways not to do what you did wrong.

Goldman Sachs Spring Internship Program - The Africa Initiative

This program is for undergraduate students studying in Ghana,
Nigeria and South Africa. If studying in a Ghanaian or Nigerian
university, you must currently be in the first year of a three year
course or the second year of a four year course. If studying in South
Africa, you will be in the second year of a three year course or third
year of a four year course.
In order to provide program participants with an insight into our
businesses and culture, program attendees will be flown to London to
spend up to 10 days in our offices during April 2007. The program
features seminars, divisional rotations, interesting assignments and a
range of social events. High-potential participants will be invited
back to the firm the following year for an 8-10 week fully-funded
internship during June/July 2008. The purpose of these internships are
to identify strong candidates to whom we may ultimately extend
fulltime Analyst offers in 2009.
There is a two-step application process - both stages must be completed:
Step 1: Apply online (www.gs.com/careers) and upload you CV and cover
letter. Select Internship = New Analyst.
Step 2: Visit the Upcoming Events in Europe page and register using
the "Goldman Sachs Africa Initiative" link where you will answer two
essays:
1. What are your key strengths? (300 words)
2. Why should you be selected for this program? (300 words)
The application deadline is 31 January 2007.
Please note that you must be studying at a university in South Africa,
Ghana or Nigeria to apply to participate in this initiative.

First two lines

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

Let's take it from here. How many times do we blame others for our wrong actions? How many times do we blame the crowd for things we did? How long will teenagers continue to lose their heads and blame it on peer pressure? When will husbands stop gambling and squandering precious family money and blaming it on moods or such flimsy excuses? When will we all hold our heads and stop blaming others for the loss of ours?

If...

I came across this poem and thought you should go through it too. Read, and let's talk about it later.
have a beautiful week ahead.

IF
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!
-Rudyard Kipling

Budding

A happy new year to you. How was the past year? And plans for the new? Make good your plans.

Ever considered a plant bud? Have you looked at it closely? Do you see how unattractive and unpromising it looks at that stage? I rememeber that as a kid, my friends and I would pluck the bud off the plant and open it up. I guess we thought it was a kind of flower (which really it was) but were disappointed when we opened it up and it contained a couple of shrivelled petals. It just didnt look like a flower. But we would notice a new flower and wanted to be the first to pluck it and put in our hair. It never once crossed our minds that if we had allowed, left that bud to blossom, we wouldn't be scrambling for just one flower, there would have been at least one extra!

The meaning of my rantings? Look at it this way. Every child you see on the road is a bud waiting to blossom. Some are plucked away by death, bad company, family breakup, wars, epidemics, name them and others 'escape' these factors and blossom. After they open up their beauty (maybe graduating with a very beautiful class of grade), the very society that almost plucked them in their prime scramble for them, dangling enticing offers in their faces. Each company wants to show off the wealth they possess in human resources.

What brought about these? I happened to have watched the 'Change a life scheme show' on New Dawn (www.newdawnwithfunmi.com) and was so touched by the changes that have occurred in the lives of those kids whom Funmi Iyanda and Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu have jointly helped to get out of choky situations and I almost cried. These kids appeared to me as buds which are being preserved by some people who have seen the potentials in them to turn out to be beautiful bunches. God bless Funmi and preserve her own 'Bud' for her to blossom well and beautifully.

Resolutions? Well, it's good to make them but instead of remaking resolutions that are over 5 years old, why not change your 'resolution' this year to include fighting for the rights of these buds and adding to the beauty of the society. Desist from child traffiking, abhor child labour and all such 'bud threatnening' acts. See the beauty in these ones and give them a chance to grow.

'I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let then lead the way
Show them all the beauty they posses inside
Give them a sense of pride, to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be'.