Feeling left out?

Do you have this strong feeling of being left out? Or do you feel like you don't belong? Or is yours a feeling of being useless? Like time's passing you by?

Aight, I'll share another true story with you. Mine as I said.

In the last post, I gave you a general overview of failure and my own experience with failure. Okay. In this field of being left out too, I've some story to tell.

I told you already how I missed out of the service year with my colleagues and twice, when I could have met up with them again, it just didnt happen. What comes out of this naturally? Depression. A sense of loss. You could feel a lil inferior to your mates. You might even want to give it all up. You might not want to try anything again. Self pity. The list is endless but this is not the solution.

The one year of waiting to proceed on my service has not been the best one year of my life. I've seen better years. This period feels like I'm just there, not in any employment, I hear news from friends and they share what they're doing. Naturally, I feel very useless and like time's just swooping past me. But I've come to learn one thing too. This is the best time to review my life plans. Oh, wait. Do you have a life plan? Something that kinda guides you as you go along? If you don't, draw one up today. It would really help you. And if you have, if there's an unexpected occurrence somewhere, it is time to review such an occurrence and you plan. Get better! Think better! Don't underestimate ourself. Change your thinking pattern. It isn't easy, yes I know. But you can do it if you set your mind to it.

Get out of that pity party and see the lag as an opportunity for you to avoid mistakes your peers might have made in the 'straight, smooth sailing'.

Starting with realities

I promised to share my real experiences with you. Here they come.

I'll start with my first contact with failure. This came in my University years. I wasn't leading my class from the primary school through the secondary, but I wasn't lagging behind either. Infact, I somehow stood out in my class. Interesting to also note that I got into the university immediately I left the secondary school. All these combined to give me the confidence that I wasn't dumb.

So you can imagine my shock the first time I failed a course in the university. And though I didn't have to repeat the class, I had to take the course again. It was a whole new feeling for me. I had to attend classes with folks that were a class behind me. Okay, being the 'tough' girl that I am, I braved it and retook that course and passed it. But that looked like the gateway to other courses that I had to retake. Somewhere along the line, I kinda got used to it, it didn't bother me anymore but the big one was yet to come!

That was when I failed a course in my final year and I knew that translated into an extra semester. It shook me real hard. I realized my colleagues were leaving me and going off. I had gotten a lot toughened by this time and by the processes I had gone through that I really didn't 'react' to the situation but stood up to it with the hope that I'll meet up with my colleagues after four months at the National Youth Service program. But a bigger surprise was waiting for me. By some error (not on my part), I had to stay back again for another semester! That made it an extra session! I hadn't, in my wildest dreams, imagined this possible. Okay, so I had to face it. By the time I'm leaving school finally, my colleagues would have just 2months to complete the Youth service scheme. That meant that I was a full year behind them!

It's interesting to read this now. But I tell you, the process wasn't palatable at all. I didn't add that by the time I was taking the second semester extra, I was taking the course with my younger brother who had never at anytime met up with me academically till this time. You can only imagine the psychological effect. It was at this same university time that a lecturer told me I was topping my class. In essence, there was no logical reason for me to have failed at all.

I have taken time to share this with you because I don't know what failure you might have faced. It might not be academically, it might be financially, business wise, family wise (oh, do I have a story here), whatever. Just know that you may fail, but you're not a failure. When you give in to the thought or feeling of being a failure, that's when you've actually failed. I'll like to say this also, when your emotions are pent up at these low times, if you feel like crying, please do, if it's screaming, do it. Just let out the emotions, don't get them piled up. And one day, you'll be encouraging others with your story. Only when you dare and choose to live it out!

When life deals the lemons

What do you do when you expect to be dealt oranges and you get lemons instead?

Brood?

Loose interest?

Cry?

Get into a foul mood?

Try to rally sympathy?

Drink yourself to stupor?

Eat impulsively?

Get addicted to stuff?

Get hung on drugs?

These and many more are options people take when they don't get what they expect from others, friends, life itself, family or someone they have looked up to for something. But I like to tell you that these options are the 'wrongest' (permit that grammatical use) options. When you get struck down, you shouldn't be downcast. The general thing we're told is 'Take the lemon life has thrown at you and make lemonade', that's very true.

When you get downcast, it becomes difficult for you to get up and rethink and get yourself together and back on your feet. Your vision gets blurred and bleary. Your passion is watered down and you could just move from worse to worst. Now, this isn't just theory, I'm adding something new to this page. Real life experiences. I'll share my experiences with you, starting from the next post. Who knows, could just meet your present need.

It's another Sunday morning!

Whao! It's another Sunday morning. Was it this time two Sundays ago I put something up last? Hard to believe. The first Sunday post was on God's creation, and this post too is...wait a minute, what isnt God's creation? Directly or indirectly?

Moving from the flowers, butterflies, grasses, animals, to humans. Of course, we all know that God created us. But somethings bothers me about us. Why do we just sit around and let who we really are (positive) decay off inside of us. I sampled two people. Both are not what you'll call extroverts. But while I watched over the years and one worked on the quater extrovert that was in him, the other just sat in the shadows, getting sad at himself, life, things and people around him. He just got sulky. Now I look at both guys. I see the first guy attaining his goal inspite of his weaknesses. He has realised that he could get very timid and has worked on it, not negatively though, to strengthen the 'weak positive' side of him. Actually, he has made a lot of headway ahead of the other guy. I can measure that cuz they both have very similar conditions. I fear for guy 2 cuz I see him continuing to blame others for his mistakes and continuing to sit right there on the same spot and never getting anything done.

Friend, God has put a lot into you. Look inward, polish yourself and attain you utmost. What's the essence if you 'horde' all that you ought to utilize for the betterment of mankind and to add value to yourself and die really smelly on the inside? The rot of what you have inside of you would really be stinky, don't you think? Stand up! Take the bull by the horns and face life. Be a better you. No one would hold it against you.

Whoever said you can't be better?

How long can you stand?

This picture says something more to me than just a pair of chocks on rocks. It asks me a question; when things don't look the way I want them to, how long can I wait for a complete process? I got talking with a couple of my friends sometime last week and we can to the conclusion that we're in an instant world now. If not, how do we explain instant food, the ATMs, instant pictures, etc? No one wants to go to the banks to queue anymore, food must just get done faster than they naturally should and we don't want to wait again for pictures to go through the camera, film stage, the darkroom, etc.

These things look like making life easier but looking deep into it, we realize that something vital is being taken from our lives everyday. PATIENCE! That's something the average 21st century young person doesn't have. I walk into stores, banks, offices and see the way young people talk at the personell they meet in these places. They just want to have it ASAP! Let's give a thought to the values that are being taken from us with the 'technological advancements' and think of our children and the future generations. WHo'll teach them some of these things if we're losing them ourselves.

I agree that life's been easier but take out the ease, what are we left with? Take time to think today, I hope we won't have robots thinking for us soon.

Just some thoughts.

Take your destiny in your hands!

I should have done this about a week ago but I just couldn't sign in to blogger. Now I get the chance, I'm blogging away!

It's no longer news that OAU Ife is presently under locks. Why? The answer is painfully real. Some hooligans were allowed to hijack the academic calendar. Less than 10 people disrupting the life of over 25,000 students! It's unthinkable! The school had started exams but these fellows wouldn't just allow it hold smoothly. And the generality of the students were being held hostage in their halls of residence. They were threatned and attacked with dangerous weapons. And like sheep, they ran helter skelter the university premises till things got of hand and management had to close the school not after mobile policemen had been deployed to help maintain peace.

The part of this all that annoys me is that a body of active, healthy students have resigne their destiny to thugs. Why? Why would we continue to keep quiet under oppression? Agreed, those guys had dangerous weapons but they are not as many as the unarmed! They didnt have guns. The best they could do was throw stones or bottles or sticks. Yes, they could wound people but when will we ever get what's right if we all continue to cow? I may be the only one who's following this line of thought but I believe oppression cannot be fought with silence. Neither can it be fought with violence but by the oppressed to reject it and be ready to sacrifice to attain their freedom. And I believe politics should be played with sense.

What do you think?

We are the World!

I watch, have been watching with keen interest the events all culminating in the general elections in April in Nigeria. Really, it all looks like a drama or movie script. Old men who ought to sit back and hand over their 'good work' to the generation behind them are struggling and killing themselves over this 'national cake' that they have been eating and choking on for God knows how long ago.

And we, we, what have we been doing? Looking at them, watching them perform all their stunts now. Let them help sanitize the top, and exit it however they want to do it. We the youth are waiting, patiently, bidding our time and watching for the right time to launch into the mainstream.

Fearlessly we wait and watch, bravely we prepare and honestly we gird ourselves, ready to serve! We are the world!

If you can wait

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

Many times we get to react to things that have happenend to us before or is/are happening to us. How do we explain this? Many times we give up a minute too early and wished we never tired of waiting. Just that second of making the decision to go, and we actually let go of our 'dreams'.

What about retaliating? Someone has caused me pain, therefore, I should cause another pain. Seriously hurt? Must the whole world bear the brunt? In all of this, do you brood and carry the world on your head? Do you pay attention to what you say? Do you take time to season your words with salt? Do you want to come out the wiser for all you might have been through?

The next two

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:

How many times do we release our dreams go past us just because it looks like no one believes in us? There are times we could actually be sincerely wrong but there just has to be that element of trust in the self. YOU JUST GAT TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

Don't be tossed about like a flimsy film, stand your ground and make your mistakes, learn from them however and remember that no one got 'there' in a day. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, you'll just have learnt new ways not to do what you did wrong.

First two lines

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

Let's take it from here. How many times do we blame others for our wrong actions? How many times do we blame the crowd for things we did? How long will teenagers continue to lose their heads and blame it on peer pressure? When will husbands stop gambling and squandering precious family money and blaming it on moods or such flimsy excuses? When will we all hold our heads and stop blaming others for the loss of ours?

Christmas is made!

Tonight, something beautiful happened to me! And to this blog! I got my account information mixed up somehow and from the time of the last post till now, I've not been happy with myself. I just could not get into my dashboard but after a lot of trouble shooting tonight, I got in! Glad am I? That makes christmas for me and to you, I say, have a really swell time.

In the celebration of the season, I plead that you remember Nigeria in your prayers so that next year christmas, we'll have better and sweeter stories to share on our democracy - democracy transition.

God bless Naija!

Soar

The way and precison an eagle glides over mountains and through the sky is enough reason for anyone to be determined to surpass all that may come along the journey of life. I watched a documentary on the eagle recently and discovered that there a quite a number of eagle species and each has its' own adaptation for the kind of region it can survive in, the kind of prey it hunts and the type of flight it engages in. None tries to stand in a place where it cannot survive and continue to strive there without success.

This reminds me of what some human beings do. We generally tend to envy those around us and manytimes wish we were where they were. Do we pause to ask ourselves if we are 'adapted' for that kind of position? Rather than sit, sulk and wish, why don't you decide, like the eagle, to soar above your limitation(s) and leave your mark there?

I stand rock solid

Really, I wish I didn't have to do this. Well, I take that back. I wish I didn't have to do this under the present circumstances. I'm not happy. Sounds like 'er...that's your problem. You get on the world wide web and tell the world you're not happy? Well then, it's really your look out'. Yeah, I agree it's entirely my business and believe me, it's MINE! But I'll tell you why I'm not ahppy all the same.

It's a little difficult to accept some changes or circumstances in your life but when they become inevitable, you've just got to stand up to them, face them squarely and make the most of such situations. NEVER let any situation make you an object of sympathy. NEVER. Stand and look 'em all in da face.

I haven't gotten round to my story, have I? Well, I had to confront a 'mountain'. It wasn't easy, rather, it isn't easy but like the picture above shows, I've picked up a hand lens, scanned through the issue and unlike any other time, I'm poised to stare this 'fellow' right on in the face. I have to dissapoint IT and make IT realize IT doesn't have the power It seems to be weilding. I've picked up the loopholes and I'm forging ahead. Warning! Clear out, else you get cleared up!

I may not really get down to the details, infact, I don't intend to make this a dairy of sorts but I'll say this. Do not allow anything snatch your laughter from your face. Interestingly enough, I just read an interview with a woman who decided not to allow the 'odds' work against her and she rose beyond expectations. I walk on the street, watch the TV, hear news and even have as friends, folks who are much less advantaged than me and THEY ARE MAKIING THEIR LIVES COUNT. I sit down and ask myself, "wetin be your own sef? You see man wey no get cap, you wey get head con dey halla say you no get cap" (What's wrong with you? There are much more disadvantaged people who are making the best out of their situations). I then change the screen saver on my phone to a big laugh, actually, a comical laugh to remind me that life is not as difficult as it appears and that it is he who laughs that has the world.

I don't know what the situation with you may be but I know that while you can still see the sun and feel the freshness of the air, you are above that issue. Just brace up and stand rock solid. Refuse to be moved from your vantage position cuz the truth really is that you stand at a vantage position over that circumstance!