Feeling left out?

Do you have this strong feeling of being left out? Or do you feel like you don't belong? Or is yours a feeling of being useless? Like time's passing you by?

Aight, I'll share another true story with you. Mine as I said.

In the last post, I gave you a general overview of failure and my own experience with failure. Okay. In this field of being left out too, I've some story to tell.

I told you already how I missed out of the service year with my colleagues and twice, when I could have met up with them again, it just didnt happen. What comes out of this naturally? Depression. A sense of loss. You could feel a lil inferior to your mates. You might even want to give it all up. You might not want to try anything again. Self pity. The list is endless but this is not the solution.

The one year of waiting to proceed on my service has not been the best one year of my life. I've seen better years. This period feels like I'm just there, not in any employment, I hear news from friends and they share what they're doing. Naturally, I feel very useless and like time's just swooping past me. But I've come to learn one thing too. This is the best time to review my life plans. Oh, wait. Do you have a life plan? Something that kinda guides you as you go along? If you don't, draw one up today. It would really help you. And if you have, if there's an unexpected occurrence somewhere, it is time to review such an occurrence and you plan. Get better! Think better! Don't underestimate ourself. Change your thinking pattern. It isn't easy, yes I know. But you can do it if you set your mind to it.

Get out of that pity party and see the lag as an opportunity for you to avoid mistakes your peers might have made in the 'straight, smooth sailing'.

Starting with realities

I promised to share my real experiences with you. Here they come.

I'll start with my first contact with failure. This came in my University years. I wasn't leading my class from the primary school through the secondary, but I wasn't lagging behind either. Infact, I somehow stood out in my class. Interesting to also note that I got into the university immediately I left the secondary school. All these combined to give me the confidence that I wasn't dumb.

So you can imagine my shock the first time I failed a course in the university. And though I didn't have to repeat the class, I had to take the course again. It was a whole new feeling for me. I had to attend classes with folks that were a class behind me. Okay, being the 'tough' girl that I am, I braved it and retook that course and passed it. But that looked like the gateway to other courses that I had to retake. Somewhere along the line, I kinda got used to it, it didn't bother me anymore but the big one was yet to come!

That was when I failed a course in my final year and I knew that translated into an extra semester. It shook me real hard. I realized my colleagues were leaving me and going off. I had gotten a lot toughened by this time and by the processes I had gone through that I really didn't 'react' to the situation but stood up to it with the hope that I'll meet up with my colleagues after four months at the National Youth Service program. But a bigger surprise was waiting for me. By some error (not on my part), I had to stay back again for another semester! That made it an extra session! I hadn't, in my wildest dreams, imagined this possible. Okay, so I had to face it. By the time I'm leaving school finally, my colleagues would have just 2months to complete the Youth service scheme. That meant that I was a full year behind them!

It's interesting to read this now. But I tell you, the process wasn't palatable at all. I didn't add that by the time I was taking the second semester extra, I was taking the course with my younger brother who had never at anytime met up with me academically till this time. You can only imagine the psychological effect. It was at this same university time that a lecturer told me I was topping my class. In essence, there was no logical reason for me to have failed at all.

I have taken time to share this with you because I don't know what failure you might have faced. It might not be academically, it might be financially, business wise, family wise (oh, do I have a story here), whatever. Just know that you may fail, but you're not a failure. When you give in to the thought or feeling of being a failure, that's when you've actually failed. I'll like to say this also, when your emotions are pent up at these low times, if you feel like crying, please do, if it's screaming, do it. Just let out the emotions, don't get them piled up. And one day, you'll be encouraging others with your story. Only when you dare and choose to live it out!

When life deals the lemons

What do you do when you expect to be dealt oranges and you get lemons instead?

Brood?

Loose interest?

Cry?

Get into a foul mood?

Try to rally sympathy?

Drink yourself to stupor?

Eat impulsively?

Get addicted to stuff?

Get hung on drugs?

These and many more are options people take when they don't get what they expect from others, friends, life itself, family or someone they have looked up to for something. But I like to tell you that these options are the 'wrongest' (permit that grammatical use) options. When you get struck down, you shouldn't be downcast. The general thing we're told is 'Take the lemon life has thrown at you and make lemonade', that's very true.

When you get downcast, it becomes difficult for you to get up and rethink and get yourself together and back on your feet. Your vision gets blurred and bleary. Your passion is watered down and you could just move from worse to worst. Now, this isn't just theory, I'm adding something new to this page. Real life experiences. I'll share my experiences with you, starting from the next post. Who knows, could just meet your present need.

Friends are Friends

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

I came across this chorus from the song by Micheal W. Smith. Its' title is actually 'Friends are Friends' and then I got thinking. Who really is a friend? Yeah, friends should really be forever! But before they are forever, what constitutes their friendship?

Is friendship about convenience?
Is it about nice fronts?
Is it about faking realities?
Is it about not just wanting to appear heartless to the other?

Or,

Is it about being ourselves?
Is it about understanding our silences and noises?
Is it about speaking the truth in love?
Is it about . . .

What exactly is friendship about?
Do you choose your friends or are they stuck down your throat? Do you have to continue to stick a person you just aren't connecting with anymore?

I would love responses.

Whispers

Sad, I lost the grphics in this but the message's still clear. Think on this.


A man whispered, "God, speak to me" and a meadowlark sang.

But, the man did not hear.


So the man yelled, "God, speak to me" and the thunder rolled across the sky.

But, the man did not listen.


The man looked around and said, "God let me see you." And a star shined brightly.

But the man did not see.

And, the man shouted, "God show me a miracle." And, a life was born.

But, the man did not notice.
So, the man cried out in despair, "Touch me God, and let me know you are here." Whereupon, God reached down and touched the man. But, the man brushed the butterfly away .

and walked on.
I found this to be a great reminder that God is always around us in the little and simple things that we take for granted ... even in our electronic age.



So I would like to add one more:

The man cried, "God, I need your help!" And an e-mail arrived reaching out with good news and encouragement.

But, the man deleted it and continued crying
Don't miss out on a blessing because it isn't packaged the way that you expect.

My instructions were to send this to people that I wanted God to bless and I picked you. Won't you please pass this to people you want to be blessed.

Have A Happy Day!

How thankful are you?

This isn't originally mine. Someone sent it to me and I want to share it. How well we pass everyday things that remind us how complete we are and how good God is. Add to the list.
NB: The original author is given the credit.

I am Thankful:

FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA
BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME,
NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE
BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.
FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE.

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING
I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS
WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH..

FOR THE PARKING SPOT
I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.


FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH
WHO SINGS OFF KEY BECAUSE IT MEANS
I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES
AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN
CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF
IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE
FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

It's another Sunday morning!

Whao! It's another Sunday morning. Was it this time two Sundays ago I put something up last? Hard to believe. The first Sunday post was on God's creation, and this post too is...wait a minute, what isnt God's creation? Directly or indirectly?

Moving from the flowers, butterflies, grasses, animals, to humans. Of course, we all know that God created us. But somethings bothers me about us. Why do we just sit around and let who we really are (positive) decay off inside of us. I sampled two people. Both are not what you'll call extroverts. But while I watched over the years and one worked on the quater extrovert that was in him, the other just sat in the shadows, getting sad at himself, life, things and people around him. He just got sulky. Now I look at both guys. I see the first guy attaining his goal inspite of his weaknesses. He has realised that he could get very timid and has worked on it, not negatively though, to strengthen the 'weak positive' side of him. Actually, he has made a lot of headway ahead of the other guy. I can measure that cuz they both have very similar conditions. I fear for guy 2 cuz I see him continuing to blame others for his mistakes and continuing to sit right there on the same spot and never getting anything done.

Friend, God has put a lot into you. Look inward, polish yourself and attain you utmost. What's the essence if you 'horde' all that you ought to utilize for the betterment of mankind and to add value to yourself and die really smelly on the inside? The rot of what you have inside of you would really be stinky, don't you think? Stand up! Take the bull by the horns and face life. Be a better you. No one would hold it against you.

Whoever said you can't be better?

How long can you stand?

This picture says something more to me than just a pair of chocks on rocks. It asks me a question; when things don't look the way I want them to, how long can I wait for a complete process? I got talking with a couple of my friends sometime last week and we can to the conclusion that we're in an instant world now. If not, how do we explain instant food, the ATMs, instant pictures, etc? No one wants to go to the banks to queue anymore, food must just get done faster than they naturally should and we don't want to wait again for pictures to go through the camera, film stage, the darkroom, etc.

These things look like making life easier but looking deep into it, we realize that something vital is being taken from our lives everyday. PATIENCE! That's something the average 21st century young person doesn't have. I walk into stores, banks, offices and see the way young people talk at the personell they meet in these places. They just want to have it ASAP! Let's give a thought to the values that are being taken from us with the 'technological advancements' and think of our children and the future generations. WHo'll teach them some of these things if we're losing them ourselves.

I agree that life's been easier but take out the ease, what are we left with? Take time to think today, I hope we won't have robots thinking for us soon.

Just some thoughts.

Changes do occur

I can't believe that I've been gone for over a month without any post. I didnt ever think it could happen but it did. I had to go through some changes that really kept me off the web. I'm not trying to make an excuse here, nah! Infact, I have lost touch with a lot of things online, and a lot of people too!

Now this gets me thinking. How do we adapt to changes in our lives, nations, places of work, families, etc? The elections in Nigeria have just been conducted. A change has occurred. Power is changing hands in 26days and some people are averse to it! There have been a lot of rancour and unnecessary clamour. Come to think of it, why is it so hard to adapt to change? But I think the problem we have is adapting to a change that we think we dont have an immediate benefit from. We want things done our way - selfish aint that? I'll continue on this but I just had to put something new on this page. I'll be back soon.

Take your destiny in your hands!

I should have done this about a week ago but I just couldn't sign in to blogger. Now I get the chance, I'm blogging away!

It's no longer news that OAU Ife is presently under locks. Why? The answer is painfully real. Some hooligans were allowed to hijack the academic calendar. Less than 10 people disrupting the life of over 25,000 students! It's unthinkable! The school had started exams but these fellows wouldn't just allow it hold smoothly. And the generality of the students were being held hostage in their halls of residence. They were threatned and attacked with dangerous weapons. And like sheep, they ran helter skelter the university premises till things got of hand and management had to close the school not after mobile policemen had been deployed to help maintain peace.

The part of this all that annoys me is that a body of active, healthy students have resigne their destiny to thugs. Why? Why would we continue to keep quiet under oppression? Agreed, those guys had dangerous weapons but they are not as many as the unarmed! They didnt have guns. The best they could do was throw stones or bottles or sticks. Yes, they could wound people but when will we ever get what's right if we all continue to cow? I may be the only one who's following this line of thought but I believe oppression cannot be fought with silence. Neither can it be fought with violence but by the oppressed to reject it and be ready to sacrifice to attain their freedom. And I believe politics should be played with sense.

What do you think?

We are the World!

I watch, have been watching with keen interest the events all culminating in the general elections in April in Nigeria. Really, it all looks like a drama or movie script. Old men who ought to sit back and hand over their 'good work' to the generation behind them are struggling and killing themselves over this 'national cake' that they have been eating and choking on for God knows how long ago.

And we, we, what have we been doing? Looking at them, watching them perform all their stunts now. Let them help sanitize the top, and exit it however they want to do it. We the youth are waiting, patiently, bidding our time and watching for the right time to launch into the mainstream.

Fearlessly we wait and watch, bravely we prepare and honestly we gird ourselves, ready to serve! We are the world!

If you can wait

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

Many times we get to react to things that have happenend to us before or is/are happening to us. How do we explain this? Many times we give up a minute too early and wished we never tired of waiting. Just that second of making the decision to go, and we actually let go of our 'dreams'.

What about retaliating? Someone has caused me pain, therefore, I should cause another pain. Seriously hurt? Must the whole world bear the brunt? In all of this, do you brood and carry the world on your head? Do you pay attention to what you say? Do you take time to season your words with salt? Do you want to come out the wiser for all you might have been through?

Sayings

These are some sayings about children. Spare a thought for each. Deep thought.

'You cannot teach a child to take care of himself unless you will let him try to take care of himself. He will make mistakes; and out of these mistakes will come his wisdom.'
- Henry Ward Beecher

'Perhaps we cannot prevent this world from being a world in which children are tortured. But we can reduce the number of tortured children.'
- Albert Camus

'When children sound silly, you will always find that it is in imitation of their elders.'
- Ernest Dimnet

'Respect the child. Be not too much his parent. Trespass not on his solitude.'
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

'To a father waxing old, nothing is dearer than a daughter. Sons have spirits of higher pitch, but less inclined to sweet, endearing fondness.'
- Euripides

'In praising or loving a child, we love and praise not that which is, but that which we hope for.'
- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

'Children generally hate to be idle. All the care then should be, that their busy humor should be constantly employed in something that is of use to them.'
- John Locke

'Children have more need of models than of critics.'
- Joseph Joubert

'Give me a child for the first seven years, and you may do what you like with him afterwards.'
- Anon

'I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.'
- Harry S. Truman

'I do not love him because he is good, but because he is my little child.'
- Rabindranath Tagore

'A child tells in the street what his father and mother say at home.'
- The Talmud

'A babe in a house is a well-spring of pleasure.'
- Martin Farquhar Tupper

Who has the Son

Think on this...

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art.

They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael.
They would often sit together and admire the great works of art.

When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war.
He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier.
The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.

About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door.
A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands.

He said, "Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life.
He saved many lives that day,
andhe was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly.
He often talked about you, and your love for art."
The young man held out this package.
"I know this isn't much.
I'm not really a great artist,
butI think your son would have wanted you to have this."

The father opened the package.
It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man.
He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting.
The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears.
He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture.
"Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me.
It's a gift."

The father hung the portrait over his mantle.
Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son
beforehe showed them any of the other great works he had collected.

The man died a few months later.
There was to be a great auction of his paintings.
Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings
andhaving an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.

On the platform sat the painting of the son.
The auctioneer pounded his gavel.
"We will start the bidding with this picture of the son.
Who will bid for this picture?"

There was silence.

Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, "We want to see the famous paintings.
Skip this one."

But the auctioneer persisted.
"Will somebody bid for this painting.
Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?"

Another voice angrily."We didn't come to see this painting.
We came to see the Van Goghs, the Rembrandts.
Get on with the real bids!"

But still the auctioneer continued.
"The son!The son! Who'll take the son?"

Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room.
It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son.
"I'll give $10 for the painting."
Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.

"We have $10, who will bid $20?"

"Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters."

"$10 is the bid, won't someone bid $20?"

The crowd was becoming angry.
They didn't want the picture of the son.

They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.

The auctioneer pounded the gavel.
"Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!"

A man sitting on the second row shouted, "Now let's get on with the collection!"

The auctioneer laid down his gavel.
"I'm sorry, the auction is over."

"What about the paintings?"

"I am sorry.
When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will.
I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time.
Only the painting of the son would be auctioned.
Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings.

The man who took the son gets everything!"

God gave His son 2,000 years ago to die on the cross.