Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Starting with realities

I promised to share my real experiences with you. Here they come.

I'll start with my first contact with failure. This came in my University years. I wasn't leading my class from the primary school through the secondary, but I wasn't lagging behind either. Infact, I somehow stood out in my class. Interesting to also note that I got into the university immediately I left the secondary school. All these combined to give me the confidence that I wasn't dumb.

So you can imagine my shock the first time I failed a course in the university. And though I didn't have to repeat the class, I had to take the course again. It was a whole new feeling for me. I had to attend classes with folks that were a class behind me. Okay, being the 'tough' girl that I am, I braved it and retook that course and passed it. But that looked like the gateway to other courses that I had to retake. Somewhere along the line, I kinda got used to it, it didn't bother me anymore but the big one was yet to come!

That was when I failed a course in my final year and I knew that translated into an extra semester. It shook me real hard. I realized my colleagues were leaving me and going off. I had gotten a lot toughened by this time and by the processes I had gone through that I really didn't 'react' to the situation but stood up to it with the hope that I'll meet up with my colleagues after four months at the National Youth Service program. But a bigger surprise was waiting for me. By some error (not on my part), I had to stay back again for another semester! That made it an extra session! I hadn't, in my wildest dreams, imagined this possible. Okay, so I had to face it. By the time I'm leaving school finally, my colleagues would have just 2months to complete the Youth service scheme. That meant that I was a full year behind them!

It's interesting to read this now. But I tell you, the process wasn't palatable at all. I didn't add that by the time I was taking the second semester extra, I was taking the course with my younger brother who had never at anytime met up with me academically till this time. You can only imagine the psychological effect. It was at this same university time that a lecturer told me I was topping my class. In essence, there was no logical reason for me to have failed at all.

I have taken time to share this with you because I don't know what failure you might have faced. It might not be academically, it might be financially, business wise, family wise (oh, do I have a story here), whatever. Just know that you may fail, but you're not a failure. When you give in to the thought or feeling of being a failure, that's when you've actually failed. I'll like to say this also, when your emotions are pent up at these low times, if you feel like crying, please do, if it's screaming, do it. Just let out the emotions, don't get them piled up. And one day, you'll be encouraging others with your story. Only when you dare and choose to live it out!